Phone: 401-921-3600  Email: wildertherapy@protonmail.com

Why do you do this work?

I do this work because I believe in the resilience of the human spirit. I’ve seen what happens when someone is truly seen, supported, and met with kindness—healing becomes possible in ways they never expected. Many people come to therapy feeling hopeless or uncertain about why they’re even there. They’ve exhausted every way they know to feel better but are still searching for something, even if they can’t name it.

I understand that place. I remember seeking help and being met with a blank, emotionless face—a presence so disconnected it only reinforced my isolation. I found my own way through that experience, and while I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I also wouldn't trade what I learned. It shaped the way I show up in the therapy room. No one sitting across from me will ever feel like just another case or conversation. Every person deserves to be seen, heard, and met with genuine presence.

How would you describe your style as a therapist?
Clients might not know the details of my personal life, but they’ll know exactly who I am. I show up as a real person, not a distant or overly polished professional. My training taught me to be serious and refined, but I’ve chosen to be unapologetically myself—because therapy works best when it’s real.

I listen deeply. I respond honestly. I believe in people, even when they don’t yet believe in themselves. Sometimes, I hold hope for them until they can carry it on their own. My approach shifts based on what someone needs—whether it’s humor, directness, reflection, or quiet support. Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and I make sure the work we do fits who you are.

How do people end up in psychological distress, and how do they find their way out?
We are not defined by what happens to us, but we are shaped by it. Our biology, temperament, environment, relationships, and experiences all intertwine, forming the lens through which we see ourselves and the world. Many coping strategies that once helped us survive can later become the very things that hold us back.

Healing starts with safety—both within ourselves and in the world around us. It takes trust, support, and sometimes, the willingness to sit in discomfort long enough to understand it. Therapy isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about shifting how we relate to it, strengthening what serves us, and releasing what doesn’t.

What do you wish clients knew about therapy?
Therapy isn’t just about digging through pain—it’s also about balance. Yes, there are hard conversations, but there are also light moments, humor, and space for joy. Sometimes, a session is about unpacking something deep, and other times, it’s about celebrating a small win or talking about what inspires you. That’s still therapy.

Also, change takes time. If you’ve had a pattern for 40 years, it’s not going to disappear overnight. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working or that you’re doing it wrong—it means real growth is happening. Sometimes, you’ll leave therapy feeling lighter, and other times, you might dread coming back. That’s normal.

One more thing: If therapy feels unbearable—not because of the work, but because the relationship doesn’t feel right—don’t give up on therapy. Give yourself permission to find a therapist who truly fits what you need. A good therapist, even one who isn’t the right fit, will understand that.

What do you wish clients knew about you?
This is the hardest question for me. Therapy is a one-way relationship in terms of personal details, but here’s what I can say:

I’m human. I show up as my full self. I have tattoos, I sometimes wear jeans, and I’d rather be barefoot most of the time. More importantly, I’ve lived a life that many would find hard to believe, and that gives me an unwavering ability to believe you. Nothing you say will shock me or make me think less of you.

I also want you to know that working with you affects me. I don’t take this work lightly. Your stories, your struggles, your triumphs—they stay with me. Every person I meet changes how I see the world, and I am better because of it.

What would you be doing if you weren’t a therapist?
Probably flipping houses. Maybe running a metaphysical shop. I might apprentice under my favorite plumber, Bob. Or I’d be selling my art and all the weird crafty things I like to make. Who knows? But I do know this—I’d miss this work.

Heather Wilder, Psy.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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